Memory and Desire
by Kathey27
Summary: Some days the hellfire shines so bright beneath his eyelids he can almost taste it. Her touch though, her soft and soothing touch tames the flames at times and makes it all spin away. Series of unconnected drabbles. This one's for you Becky!
1. Scars

**A/N: I've had this planned for a while now and after some consideration and urging from an awesome friend I decided to finally post this. It's made up of random prompts from a writing community in Livejournal and all the drabbles – some are one-shots – are Dean and Ruby through and through. I shall be updating sporadically and I don't really have a schedule so sorry about that!**

**Oh and this entire series is dedicated to the coolest chick I know, Becky because she, as I have said so many times, is a big part of why I love Dean/Ruby so much. All of the Dean/Ruby goodness to come is all for her and her awesomeness and peoples, seriously, go check out her stuff. Her penname is Becks Rylynn and all her stories are pure magic, trust me, you shall not be disappointed. Her Dean/Ruby stories are the best thing in this world. (And if you're reading this Becky, this is partly payback for that mama bear speech you gave me in April; I blushed like a mad woman).**

**Anywho, enough of my rambling, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I only ask for Castiel and Mark and Ruby.**

**xxxxxx**

**Scars:**

Scars are the roadmap to the soul. That's what Dean's heard and if there's one thing he's good at, it's reading maps. He's always had a good sense of direction so when his lips begin to trace flesh marks instead of the pale, smooth skin he'd become accustomed to, he starts to suspect there's more to his current bedmate than she'd spoken.

He knows it isn't his business, he sure as hell isn't sharing but he's Hell's bitch either way and some days the hellfire shines so bright beneath his eyelids he can almost taste it. Her touch though, her soft and soothing touch tames the flames at times and makes it all spin away. So yeah, he figures he owes her.

But when he asks all he gets is a darkening of bright eyes and a tightening of pale arms around his waist.

He takes the hint and lets it go.


	2. Not the Marrying Kind

**A/N: I adore this one so fudging much it hurts! I just finished looking at sexy Jensen and Katie pics so I'm in a pretty awesome mood for one in the morning.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Can I get Cas? I'll treat him better than you assbutts.**

**xxxxxx**

**Not the Marrying Kind:**

Dean Winchester is a simple man.

He is a simple man who's never needed much. Just his car, his brother, his Bobby, his angel and his girl. The car isn't going anywhere, he is stuck with his brother (because Winchesters died just fine but seemed incapable of _staying _dead), Bobby is going to be around for freaking _ever_, Cas is always filtering in and out and he doesn't see that changing any time soon and his girl…well…Ruby is the complicated piece.

You see, when their whole relationship thingy started out he'd been Hell bound and she'd been broken and then it'd gotten cut off before it could really even begin and then they kept fighting and then Lucifer came out and she stayed and soothed away all the hurt and took care of him and Sam and _loved_ him.

All in all, Ruby's pretty much all he's ever wanted and needed in a girlfriend.

But…Dean is a simple man. Ruby is anything but a simple girl.

He's asked before, or rather has hinted – tried to hint – towards it, the big _it_ but each and every time she shoots him down so fast he's left a few seconds behind, trying to catch up.

Now, she has issues. Yeah, he gets it. So does he. He drinks too much, sleeps too little, laughs too hard, doesn't share enough and his rap sheet is too long to try and squeeze on paper. So yeah, he gets she's fucked up. Well congrats. So is he.

This is all why he keeps the small, silver diamond at the bottom of his duffel at all times, waiting for the day she wouldn't use the excuse of "not really the marrying kind babe" to blow him off.


	3. The Crack of a Whip

**A/N: I had fun with this one…a lot of fun, I won't lie.**

**Disclaimer: Come on, you guys can spare Cas, can't you?**

**xxxxxx**

**The Crack of a Whip:**

Dean's loyal. That's all. He is not and he has never been and he never will be whipped.

So he loves his girlfriend, freaking sue him. Seriously, what's so wrong with not wanting your demon girlfriend ripping your balls off and shoving them down your throat? And yeah, she'd threatened just that before. But even if she hadn't, Dean would still be loyal because…because well he's Dean and she's Ruby and they're endgame and that is that.

So maybe he gets her all her food and buys her fries whenever she gets a craving and rubs her back after bad hunts and brushes her hair when she's too tired to and carries her into the Impala the nights she doesn't feel like moving and maybe he always shuts it when she tells him to and always goes when she calls and defends her to any hunter who so much as says her name funny.

He's not whipped. He is not. He's just a good boyfriend. Sam…he doesn't understand that.

Sam makes the jokes and does the smirks and makes those stupid whipping sounds when he thinks Dean can't hear and creates faces behind Ruby's back (which she knows about because, hello, she's Ruby) and is so freaking immature about it all.

Dean takes this all in stride though because when night falls, he's the one getting amazing, mind-blowing sex and Sam is the one left alone in the cold bed.


	4. Little Red Dress

**A/N: Depressing. Yeah, not much more I can say about this one.**

**Disclaimer: As long as my boys are okay, I'm fine with not owning anything. Oh wait, last time I checked, one of them was recovering from the crazies while the other two got trapped in freaking Purgatory!**

**xxxxxx**

**Little Red Dress:**

She dies, in a little red dress on the fourth of May.

It's on the outskirts of South Dakota and it's 79 degrees outside and she's wearing that little red dress that Sam had bought her two years ago.

She dies on the grassy sidewalk, outside of their favorite Pub and with his hands in her bloody, matted hair.

Her pulse, her very weak and low and _human_ pulse continues on slowly beneath his fingertips and if it wasn't for the faint spark in her eyes, he would have sworn she was already dead.

She dies in his trembling arms with a bullet wound to the chest and a glossy smile on.

Her time is short and limited but she has enough strength left for one final caress of his cheek. Her touch is warm and clammy and shaky and leaves him breathless. He leans into it anyways. He leans into it and kisses her red stained hand with dry lips and whispers to her lies. Whispers sweet lies of how they're going to finally get married and buy that house they've been eyeing for the past week and visit Cas at the hospital more often and get Sam back into law school and have two kids and be happy. He whispers this all quickly with a fist in his throat and murder on his shirt and skin.

Her only response is one final gasp of air.

She dies with his name on her lips.


	5. The Morning After the Night Before

**A/N: Kind of…refreshing, I won't lie. I needed to write this after the premiere we all just witnessed…**

**Anywho, as always, I hope you enjoy and that it's a relief from the previous one.**

**Disclaimer: Too tired to come up with something today; I disclaim.**

**xxxxxx**

**The Morning After the Night Before:**

Dean wakes up to a warm bed.

It's hard and scratchy and warm…and there's a body next to him. A soft feminine body that is all curves and heat and sex and…it's a body that he knows all to well.

Well fuck.

He keeps his eyes closed because he _knows_ what's coming next. He just knows. He's done it plenty of times before himself. The _i'm sorry it's late i should go it was amazing but now i've got to bail i'll call you see you later i'll miss you_ comments that always leave the recipients cold and shivering.

He keeps his eyes closed because he knows if he opens them it'll be to see Ruby staring into his eyes with regret as she slips away and fades into the shadows, back to Sam's side. He expects (_knows_) this.

You see, they've been doing this little dance for a while now. The build up to it anyways. The glances and the touches and the smiles and the jokes and the longing subtext laced sentences and he's actually surprised they've held out as long as they have.

He's been going strong and putting off his feelings (because he sees how Sam looks at her) and playing it off as friendly mutual acceptance but then she came into his room all bright and happy looking and jumped on him, stating she found a way to possibly break off his deal and she was wrapped around him and she was so warm and sweet and before he knows it they're rolling around on his too yellow to be clean sheets.

It'd been…it'd been amazing. Now, mind you Dean has had plenty before but never anyone he really felt for (except maybe Cassie but he doesn't like to think about her too much these days) and really wanted and afterwards she'd fallen asleep in his arms and he'd stroked her hair and had whispered it all into her ears and God he is so screwed.

All of this adds up to why he can't bring himself to open his eyes. He knows he must look ridiculous, especially if she's already awake, with his over scrunched face and constipated looking brow but he can't really fucking care right now because she is about to wring his poor little, battered heart. Or what remains of it anyways.

He lies there, frozen and rigid and waiting for the warm body to slip away but when he finally does feel a shift it isn't one of someone moving away, it's one of someone coming closer and when he does open his eyes it's to see Ruby caressing his cheek with a sad, contemplating look upon her face.

"Dean – "

"Stay." He blurts out because well, there really isn't anything else to it now is there?

Instead of answering she caresses his cheek a bit more before dropping her hands to clasps his and smiling softly. "Okay."


End file.
